MissDerpDark

I don't even know what I feel right now I don't even know how to react anymore I don't even know how long will it takes Will it stay? Will it go? It all felt nothing It all felt up to creek It all felt empty The questions of "why" are still remain unanswered But somehow, it still hurts; so much.

What goes around comes back around... There was a time I thought, that you did everything right No lies, no wrong Boy I must've been out of my mind So when I think of the time that I almost loved you You showed your ass and I, I saw the real you Thank God you blew it I thank God I dodged the bullet I'm so over you So baby good lookin' out [Chorus:] I wanted you bad I'm so through with that 'Cause honestly you turned out to be the (best thing I never had) You turned out to be the (best thing I never had) And I'm gonna' always be the (best thing you never had) Oh yeah, I bet it sucks to be you right now So sad, you're hurt Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care You don't deserve my tears I guess that's why they ain't there When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you You showed your ass and baby yes I saw the real you I know you want me back It's time to face the facts That I'm the on...

Thank you. Thank you for all the joy Thank you for all the tears Thank you for the memories Thank you for the time Thank you for everything Thank you. Thank you for the love Thank you for the disapointment Thank you for the almost 2 year time of happiness Thank you for the 2 weeks of lies Thank you for everything Thank you. Thank you for the lies Thank you for the fake tears Thank you for the fake excuses Thank you for the fake reasons Thank you for everything It still hurts; I mean who doesn't? But you're not even worth my tears anymore You just prove that everybody's words are right When at that time I didn't buy any of it. I don't know what to believe. But baby you just prove them right. But it still hurts. It's funny When you thought you already knew that particular person; then the fact is you know nothing. When you let the time answered all your questions instead of asking When you are just realize that you are just woken up...

Hi! Whoever you are! (I don't even think my blog has a reader) How's life? Hmm.. Mine? well, I'm still alive now. That's a good thing right? (or not?) Today, November 9th. I've been in 4th semester for like 2 months now and lots of thing happened in the last 2 months. Like a lot In the end of August, I became the SSPV or Student Supervisor for Student Orientation 2015 It was held in 6 days. A very long 6 days. Like, I slept at 1 then I have to gathered at 4.45 which means woke up at 4. Hence, I slept only 3 hours everyday. But it's all worth it for the experience, the friendship among the SSPVs and freshmen, the-endless-accompanying-to-the-toilet >.< In September, Well, you can say in this month, I was still adapting with stuff; with the new house (kontrakan) with the lecturer with the concentration (I choose Wealth Planning btw) with new additional job as team leader in marketing all of new thing. While non-stop meeting in the night. *...

THE MOST SCARED THING ON EARTH: FUTURE You know what's so scared about the future? It is so scared, When you don't know what will happen in the future Whether you will lose what you've got now Whether what you will be in the future Whether which friend will stay Whether what you will have there Whether what things you've lost there Whether those friend of yours will still be the same person you know now or not Whether the important people in your life now will still be there or not It's sometimes okay when you don't have those things now So, you can try to achieve it in the future later on It's scared when you have one now I am afraid. That I will lose it; you, specially. I really am.

Well, This life is getting interesting It is hard tho But, what's good in life with no obstacle?

For the way you changed my plans For being the perfect distraction For the way you took the idea that I have Of everything that I wanted to have And made me see there was something missing, oh yeah For the ending of my first begin (Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah) And for the rare and unexpected friend (Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah) For the way you're something that I'd never choose But at the same time, something I don't wanna lose And never wanna be without ever again You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you were here I had no idea You the best thing I never knew I needed So now it's so clear, I need you here always My accidental happily (Ever after) The way you smile and how you comfort me (With your laughter) I must admit you were not a part of my book But now if you open it up and take a look You're the beginning and the end of every chapter You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you wer...

Third Semester already. Phew. Time flew so fast. I can still feel the feeling of my high school graduation. Well, Now, I know why those people warned me about this. It's not that easy to balance it. Feels like my head wanna blow up and when it already blew, it still want to cut it into a million pieces. Well, Now, I know why those people warned me about this. Some people are just see stuff from their own eyes and simply take conclusion by their own. Try to use my shoes. You may not even make it a day. Well, Now, I know why those people warned me about this. It's not that easy doing it while doing that. At least, I have tried my best. Not just leaving with no excuse. Well, Now, I know why those people warned me about this. Some people are just don't have enough problems of their own and simply intervene someone else's problems. When I don't even give a shit about theirs. Now, I know why those people warned me about this.

SUCKS. *5 minutes later* STILL SUCKS *2 hours later* STILL SUCKS

Jealousy. Is it? What does jealousy even mean? jeal·ous·y ˈjeləsē noun noun: jealousy ; plural noun: jealousies the state or feeling of being jealous. Well, You can say that I'm too sensitive or whtever. But for your information. I've tried my best; to convince myself that there's nothing wrong with that I mean, I know that you are with me. And we're all friends (rite?). When there's only both of us. I'm sure that you are serious with me. But every time, every single time. You did that . It's just decreasing the sureness. How can I be sure? I just wanna be sure. Before it's gone too far.