MissDerpDark

What if ten years from now, I run into you in a cafe? My heart races and my palms sweat, I am overwhelmed by everything I wanted to say to you, the worlds never make it to my tongue. Your hair is longer than you've ever worn in before and you're vegan now. But you still drink your coffee in gulps of three and you still bite your lip when you're deep in thought or even when taking a picture and your eyes still narrow down to slits when you smile. What if ten years from now, I run into you in a cafe? I tell you that I have a drawer full of postcards I wrote to you from every place I went to, and that I've saved tickets from all our trip, and that everyday for the last 10 years, I've been sighing over my morning brew because the coffee never makes me feel as heady as the taste of your cappuccino stained lips from that last breakfast before we said goodbye. What if ten years from now, I run into you in a cafe? You say that you still dream of me s...

But remember this, sweet girl. Hurting heals, too . Ugh. Those times. Where everything falls apart. And what we expected abruptly gives way to the completely unexpected. Everything changes. We question who we are, what we want, and everything we ever really knew someone. or how something like this could happen. It feels like we are standing alone in a world that has stopped. And yet all around us, things keep moving. We feel that kind of pain there are no words for. The kind that makes you feel everything and nothing at the exact same time. We have those crazy thoughts that maybe, maybe, nothing will ever be alright again. But it will. And listen up, sweet girl. I know you're walking through some real stuff. I know you think this is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. But trust me, there is even a purpose for this. There is. This process you're going through is going to change you completely. And when you come out of it, you're going to ...

For as long as I can remember I’ve always had this void in my life,  It’s this empty feeling deep deep inside of you, that you can’t quite shake - no matter how hard you try. It sort of consumes and eats away at you,  You’ll have great happy moments and just when you thought everything was fine - surprise!  The feeling always comes back, it’s just a matter of time.  The constant frustration to fill this void, something to ease the pain. What’s the cause? Nobody knows, Yet you feel the same sad emptiness every single day It leaves me feeling so empty and down  like I’m missing something somehow something that’s a big part of me and once I have it, I’ll be happy I just need that one thing, this missing key, and when I get my hands on it, I’ll be complete. I’ve tried everything - friends, education, material stuff, but no matter how hard I try, it never seems to be enough, It sucks, and I know people will say that you just need to be positive, ...

as·sump·tion əˈsəm(p)SH(ə)n/ noun a thing that is accepted as true or as certain to happen, without proof. Just like the definition, the thing that is accepted as true; without proof the thing that was made by seeing the facts from one point of view the thing that made you thought you knew, yet (sometimes) you didn't (at all) When you started to questioning yourself When you started to worried about what people might think When you started to feel what you may (not) supposed to feel When you started to think what you may (not) supposed to think Is it just a good guy doing a bad thing; bad choices? or after all this time he really is a bad guy doing a good thing? if he really is a good guy, should we forget all the good things he's done just because he made one bad call? if he really is a bad guy, should we forget the facts that he's done some good things? What if this thing is happening to us? Will we even forgive ourselves; fo...

I don't even know what I feel right now I don't even know how to react anymore I don't even know how long will it takes Will it stay? Will it go? It all felt nothing It all felt up to creek It all felt empty The questions of "why" are still remain unanswered But somehow, it still hurts; so much.

What goes around comes back around... There was a time I thought, that you did everything right No lies, no wrong Boy I must've been out of my mind So when I think of the time that I almost loved you You showed your ass and I, I saw the real you Thank God you blew it I thank God I dodged the bullet I'm so over you So baby good lookin' out [Chorus:] I wanted you bad I'm so through with that 'Cause honestly you turned out to be the (best thing I never had) You turned out to be the (best thing I never had) And I'm gonna' always be the (best thing you never had) Oh yeah, I bet it sucks to be you right now So sad, you're hurt Boo hoo, oh, did you expect me to care You don't deserve my tears I guess that's why they ain't there When I think that there was a time that I almost loved you You showed your ass and baby yes I saw the real you I know you want me back It's time to face the facts That I'm the on...

Thank you. Thank you for all the joy Thank you for all the tears Thank you for the memories Thank you for the time Thank you for everything Thank you. Thank you for the love Thank you for the disapointment Thank you for the almost 2 year time of happiness Thank you for the 2 weeks of lies Thank you for everything Thank you. Thank you for the lies Thank you for the fake tears Thank you for the fake excuses Thank you for the fake reasons Thank you for everything It still hurts; I mean who doesn't? But you're not even worth my tears anymore You just prove that everybody's words are right When at that time I didn't buy any of it. I don't know what to believe. But baby you just prove them right. But it still hurts. It's funny When you thought you already knew that particular person; then the fact is you know nothing. When you let the time answered all your questions instead of asking When you are just realize that you are just woken up...

Hi! Whoever you are! (I don't even think my blog has a reader) How's life? Hmm.. Mine? well, I'm still alive now. That's a good thing right? (or not?) Today, November 9th. I've been in 4th semester for like 2 months now and lots of thing happened in the last 2 months. Like a lot In the end of August, I became the SSPV or Student Supervisor for Student Orientation 2015 It was held in 6 days. A very long 6 days. Like, I slept at 1 then I have to gathered at 4.45 which means woke up at 4. Hence, I slept only 3 hours everyday. But it's all worth it for the experience, the friendship among the SSPVs and freshmen, the-endless-accompanying-to-the-toilet >.< In September, Well, you can say in this month, I was still adapting with stuff; with the new house (kontrakan) with the lecturer with the concentration (I choose Wealth Planning btw) with new additional job as team leader in marketing all of new thing. While non-stop meeting in the night. *...

THE MOST SCARED THING ON EARTH: FUTURE You know what's so scared about the future? It is so scared, When you don't know what will happen in the future Whether you will lose what you've got now Whether what you will be in the future Whether which friend will stay Whether what you will have there Whether what things you've lost there Whether those friend of yours will still be the same person you know now or not Whether the important people in your life now will still be there or not It's sometimes okay when you don't have those things now So, you can try to achieve it in the future later on It's scared when you have one now I am afraid. That I will lose it; you, specially. I really am.

Well, This life is getting interesting It is hard tho But, what's good in life with no obstacle?