MissDerpDark

Hi! Whoever you are! (I don't even think my blog has a reader) How's life? Hmm.. Mine? well, I'm still alive now. That's a good thing right? (or not?) Today, November 9th. I've been in 4th semester for like 2 months now and lots of thing happened in the last 2 months. Like a lot In the end of August, I became the SSPV or Student Supervisor for Student Orientation 2015 It was held in 6 days. A very long 6 days. Like, I slept at 1 then I have to gathered at 4.45 which means woke up at 4. Hence, I slept only 3 hours everyday. But it's all worth it for the experience, the friendship among the SSPVs and freshmen, the-endless-accompanying-to-the-toilet >.< In September, Well, you can say in this month, I was still adapting with stuff; with the new house (kontrakan) with the lecturer with the concentration (I choose Wealth Planning btw) with new additional job as team leader in marketing all of new thing. While non-stop meeting in the night. *...

THE MOST SCARED THING ON EARTH: FUTURE You know what's so scared about the future? It is so scared, When you don't know what will happen in the future Whether you will lose what you've got now Whether what you will be in the future Whether which friend will stay Whether what you will have there Whether what things you've lost there Whether those friend of yours will still be the same person you know now or not Whether the important people in your life now will still be there or not It's sometimes okay when you don't have those things now So, you can try to achieve it in the future later on It's scared when you have one now I am afraid. That I will lose it; you, specially. I really am.

Well, This life is getting interesting It is hard tho But, what's good in life with no obstacle?

For the way you changed my plans For being the perfect distraction For the way you took the idea that I have Of everything that I wanted to have And made me see there was something missing, oh yeah For the ending of my first begin (Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah) And for the rare and unexpected friend (Ooh, yeah yeah, ooh, yeah yeah) For the way you're something that I'd never choose But at the same time, something I don't wanna lose And never wanna be without ever again You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you were here I had no idea You the best thing I never knew I needed So now it's so clear, I need you here always My accidental happily (Ever after) The way you smile and how you comfort me (With your laughter) I must admit you were not a part of my book But now if you open it up and take a look You're the beginning and the end of every chapter You're the best thing I never knew I needed So when you wer...

Third Semester already. Phew. Time flew so fast. I can still feel the feeling of my high school graduation. Well, Now, I know why those people warned me about this. It's not that easy to balance it. Feels like my head wanna blow up and when it already blew, it still want to cut it into a million pieces. Well, Now, I know why those people warned me about this. Some people are just see stuff from their own eyes and simply take conclusion by their own. Try to use my shoes. You may not even make it a day. Well, Now, I know why those people warned me about this. It's not that easy doing it while doing that. At least, I have tried my best. Not just leaving with no excuse. Well, Now, I know why those people warned me about this. Some people are just don't have enough problems of their own and simply intervene someone else's problems. When I don't even give a shit about theirs. Now, I know why those people warned me about this.

SUCKS. *5 minutes later* STILL SUCKS *2 hours later* STILL SUCKS

Jealousy. Is it? What does jealousy even mean? jeal·ous·y ˈjeləsē noun noun: jealousy ; plural noun: jealousies the state or feeling of being jealous. Well, You can say that I'm too sensitive or whtever. But for your information. I've tried my best; to convince myself that there's nothing wrong with that I mean, I know that you are with me. And we're all friends (rite?). When there's only both of us. I'm sure that you are serious with me. But every time, every single time. You did that . It's just decreasing the sureness. How can I be sure? I just wanna be sure. Before it's gone too far.

*cleaning the cobwebs on my blog* Whoa. It's been like forever I haven't write anything. sorry. It's not because I'm busy, it's just.. I have no desire to write back then. haha desire.. SO yeah. It's August 21st. Today is my 9th days of my Pre-University Bridging Program and my 13th days of me to living in Dormitory of President University. 8 days to go to Orientation week and 15 days to go to the real University life and routine University life rocks! The stupid thought that came up before never happen actually. I made a lot of new friends here, a lot of friends from different cities, different states, even different country. and they are all friendly and got their own accent. =)) I wash my own clothes here. I buy my own food here. Like for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. (We can't cook in dormitory, there's a rule that prohibit us to cook.) I'm on my own now. I really love it here! The whole new friends. The need-to-walk-to-c...

So, I've just arrived from my Farewell Graduation Party a.k.a Prom Night. And since I haven't posted a post like for ages, so here it is! Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!>,< Finally! I'm graduate from high school! Feels like the weight; the half weight in my shoulder just taken off. But yeah, just the half of it. SBMPTN still waiting for me, smiling in the corner like a creeps.. :| :| :| :| So, 2 days ago I just had my graduation day! It was amazing! I feel really bad because I have to 'leave" my friend. You know how does it feel when you're in high school, but only in 2 years? It sucks at first, but yeaaaaaaaaaah. That's life. I'm enjoying it eventually. I'm enjoying every second the effort that I made in this 2 years. Actually, I thought that I can't make it to the end. It's happen to me a lot of times when I got to my "tired" point. When I gave up. When I couldn't hold 'the weight' anymore. But, there was ...

Thank you. Thank you for taking away my dream. Thank you for destroying my dream. With your not-so-dream. By your stupid selfishness. It's your 2-year-classmate they said. They're gonna be just like your best friends they said. They're gonna be there for you they said. They're gonna support you no matter what they said. Gue tau lu gak suka sama sekolah ini. Kita semua tau. Gue tau lu gak suka sama temen2 lu disini. Kita semua tau. Gue tau lu gak suka sama atmosphere  disini. Kita semua tau. Tapi kenapa? Kenapa lo mesti boong? "EVERYONE SUCKS! I HATE EVERYONE!" SO DO YOU, bit*h! Yes. You're the only child. Yes. I know. You'll get mad when you don't get what you want. We all know. Bukan mengungkit kebaikan. Cuman ingin mengingatkan. Remember back then? My father said "take that. it will suit you" And I said "No. She said she'll take it. Kasian yah, dia anak tunggal gak boleh keluar kota. Shilla ngalah aj...