MissDerpDark

I had a choice, At the very beginning I already had a choice Whether to end it all or see where it lead At the very beginning I already had a choice Whether let myself drown over the exact thing that I've been through or just let it go At the very beginning I already had a choice Whether to believe my guts or just simply have a little faith Towards thing that I knew was a problem in the first place Towards thing that I thought I knew inside out Towards thing that I thought is certain At the very beginning I already had a choice and I chose wrong. I admit Admitting is the first step of forgiving, at least Now, I choose to be happy.

This is me moving on This is me accepting the ache of missing you This is me waking up every single single day, aware of what is missing but accepting of the fact that this is my life now, that this is the way things are going to be This is me understanding that it is okay to have my heartbeat speak your name This is me understanding that it is okay to miss someone who was once such a staple in my life But this is also me understanding that life does go on That one day I will hear a songs and smile, I will sleep in my sheets and they will no longer smell like you; one day I will fall in love again, one day I will look back on this and my hands will not shake with the heaviness of it all This is me moving on This is me accepting the fact that we will no longer make memories together This is me coming to terms with the reality of a future without you This is me understanding that you will do everything we had ever spoken about -- You will live a life you are proud of, yo...

This is how you forgive the person who broke your heart. You forgive them by giving yourself time to heal. This doesn't happen all at once. This doesn't happen overnight. It's a slow progression. You take two steps forward and four steps back. Sometimes it won't make sense. But you grow a bit stronger, a bit more resilient, every single day. Even if you don't always see it. You forgive them by focusing on yourself. Stop pouring your energy ti toxicity. You unplug. You unfollow. Practice self-care. Reread your favorite books and go out with your friends, laughing and remembering how good things can be when you surround yourself with postivitiy. Tell your broken heart it's okay to take a break - to remember how to smile again. You forgive them by removing yourself from the situation. The longer you dwell in it, in the heartache, the more it festers. It's difficult, but you have to leave it alone. Honor your emotions. Honor your feelings....

In the beginning, things were perfect. We were happy. We were loving. We were kind to one another. Moments of separation were slim to none and when we were apart, it seemed like a lifetime had come and gone. Filled with desire, we burned for each other. Inside of us were inextinguishable flames. Yet, as so many predicted, our flames were soon put out. Well, yours was at least. Mine was still burning. The fire in me never died because you replaced your flame with a flashing light. At the time, I couldn't recognize the difference between an authentic and an artificial flame. So, I didn't notice the change. But honestly, it didn't even matter. Because soon enough your light grew dimmer and dimmer until it was completely black. But even that did't stop me. I kept trying to reignite your flame with my fire. but it was like lighting a candle in a room with no air. Still, my flame remained in tact and burned only for you. Until maybe, the clouds in my e...

Home is the person who can look at you smiling and know you are completely bullshitting the world and they ask what is wrong. Home is the person who can see the pain in your eyes when you've fooled everyone around you. Home is the person who stands by you in moments of confusion, they aren't there to answer question or solve anything, they are simply there and don't leave. Home is in that connection you don't understand but it's evident something is there between you. Home is letting someone into your world, even when you're afraid. You realize as different as you feel from everyone else around you, you're found someone who is the same. Someone who gets it. You trust them. You'd trust them with your life if you had to because, somewhere along the way, they've kind of saved you. You talk about dreams that might never happen but they look at you and believe in you and have confidence in you, enough that, you start believing in yourse...

Current obsession: Poetry.

Before you fall in love with a girl who has been broken before, remember: It isn't just about loving her simply, it's about teaching her that she didn't deserve what happened to her in the past. Respect her brokenness. She never wanted to meet someone who could put her back together. She learned to love herself the way she wished other people had. She learned to own the parts of herself she used to reject. She learned to have confidence in what is broken, not letting what could be missing in her life, define her. You don't have to save her. Instead, run your fingers along her sharp edges and show her it doesn't have to hurt. Show her someone who will stay, even when things are hard. Show her it doesn't matter what happened or with who, what maters is the two of you there right now. Teach her that she can trust someone other than herself. Because up until now she's been the number one person she can rely on. Teach her that not everyone will...

What if ten years from now, I run into you in a cafe? My heart races and my palms sweat, I am overwhelmed by everything I wanted to say to you, the worlds never make it to my tongue. Your hair is longer than you've ever worn in before and you're vegan now. But you still drink your coffee in gulps of three and you still bite your lip when you're deep in thought or even when taking a picture and your eyes still narrow down to slits when you smile. What if ten years from now, I run into you in a cafe? I tell you that I have a drawer full of postcards I wrote to you from every place I went to, and that I've saved tickets from all our trip, and that everyday for the last 10 years, I've been sighing over my morning brew because the coffee never makes me feel as heady as the taste of your cappuccino stained lips from that last breakfast before we said goodbye. What if ten years from now, I run into you in a cafe? You say that you still dream of me s...

But remember this, sweet girl. Hurting heals, too . Ugh. Those times. Where everything falls apart. And what we expected abruptly gives way to the completely unexpected. Everything changes. We question who we are, what we want, and everything we ever really knew someone. or how something like this could happen. It feels like we are standing alone in a world that has stopped. And yet all around us, things keep moving. We feel that kind of pain there are no words for. The kind that makes you feel everything and nothing at the exact same time. We have those crazy thoughts that maybe, maybe, nothing will ever be alright again. But it will. And listen up, sweet girl. I know you're walking through some real stuff. I know you think this is the worst thing that could ever happen to you. But trust me, there is even a purpose for this. There is. This process you're going through is going to change you completely. And when you come out of it, you're going to ...